How to Achieve a More Intense, Intimate and Fulfilling Sex Life
Ever heard of ‘bibliotherapy?’ I’ve been a practitioner for years, but I never heard this fancy little word until recently. Bibliotherapy is an academic term that describes the amazingly beneficial (and very delightful!) mind/body reactions that occur from reading… here comes the naughty & fun part… erotic romantic literature. What’s that you say? In fact, avant garde sex therapists are advising their female patients to get busy and start reading… hello… erotic romance! Wow, I’m so glad its O.K.
In this blog I discuss five important reasons why you should immediately start reading the steamiest most blush-inducing erotic romantic literature you can find, and as often as possible. Once you’ve followed this advice for a few weeks you’ll think up even more reasons to keep reading, but they probably won’t be reasons you’ll try and discuss in polite company. But who cares? Polite is just another term for ‘nice girl’ – and we know where nice girls finish when it comes to sex and romance!
One of my favorite trailblazing self-aware women, Pamela Madsen, has written a terrific post about ‘bibliotherapy’ at her blog, The Fertility Advocate. She sites a scientific study that says that 30-45 minutes of reading erotic literature causes a chemical reaction in the female brain, resulting in increased arousal. Hard to say anything bad about increased arousal! I like the fact that it works so fast and is so reliable. Timing, as they say, is everything.
I LOVE reading erotica for the pure and simple joy it provides me. We’re not talking about the mono-dimensional smut you see in Penthouse Letters. Who writes that junk anyway? Women are turned on by “emotional stimulation.” Men are aroused by what they see. Psychologically nuanced erotic romance will get you so worked up you’ll need to keep a fire extinguisher in your bedroom!
Here are my top FIVE REASONS why women (and men too) should read erotic romantic literature:
1. Bring your ‘sexy back’: Reading great erotica engages the entire body, mind and soul! Fantasy is powerful stuff! You’ll soon forget your role of mother, wife, employer, or employee and shift into your sexy, juicy, adventurous self. Reading a satisfying love scene stirs a woman’s emotions, which are directly linked to their libido; so grab yourself an aphrodisiac ‘erotic story’ cocktail and enjoy some sensational emotional foreplay!
2. Heighten sexual experience with FANTASY! Of course you’re not going to engage in a three or four or five-way or have sex in a public place (or are you?). However, reading about such outrageous behavior is a terrific way to stir up all sorts of newfound naughtiness in the bedroom! Exploring fantasies vicariously will elevate your pleasure and your partner’s too. Sharing fantasies with a lover that are new to your repertoire is healthy and fun. Use the erotic romantic stories to create or expand a zone of permission, fun and lightness while learning to share and experience sensuality and pleasure on a deeper, more primal level.
3. I didn’t know that! My favorite authors have done their homework. These smart gals provide some wonderful insights to healthy sexual communication between partners. They also know how the female lizard brain works and have no problem taking us ‘there.’ If you’re wondering what might make you happy and really, really satisfied – there’s nothing like an erotic story to give you some delicious new ideas you’ll want to try at home – right away!
4. Because it feels good! For you fact-driven darlings – here’s the scientific and sexpert scoop: Psychology Today states that women who read romance novels make love with their partners 74% more often than women who don’t. And according to a scientific study done by Harold Leitenberg of the The Journal of Sex Research and Psychological Bulletin, when women fantasize frequently (as they do when they read romance novels), they have sex more often, have more fun in bed, and engage in a wider variety of erotic activities. Enough said?
5. Happy Ever After! Tired of reading The Economist and other stuff that leaves you feeling slightly depressed and perpetually exhausted? Pick up a romantic erotica story! While dodging bullets, saving the world, and having sinfully steamy adventures… you’ll always have a happy ending. This might seem like hedonist escapism, that’s because it is. However, the psychological benefits are real and valuable. The emotional gratification you receive (by reading) will spill into your own relationships. You’ll remember that your darlin’ man is a testosterone filled, y-chromosome guy, and isn’t that just grand?!
The most amazing thing happens when you practice bibliotherapy! As Dr. Laura Berman states: “Erotic reading is an excellent way to get your sensual juices flowing. It puts sex squarely on your brain and gives the imagination a boost, too. It’s perfect for getting in the mood before sex (with yourself or your partner).” What To-do List? What kids? Leave it all behind! Tune in, turn on… and experience a more intimate and satisfying sexual relationship with your lover. Try it for 30 days, or your money back! Just kidding about the money part, but start reading… you won’t be disappointed!
Where to find the best erotic romantic literature:
There are thousands of erotic romantic books, but the really TERRIFIC ones are far fewer and hard to find precisely because there are so many duds. Bring Back Desire has put together a selection of the best erotic romantic literature available in the English language. There’s also a link to Amazon’s store that allows you to buy them with complete privacy.